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Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday’s Short Review: The Zero Dog War by Keith Melton

Title: The Zero Dog War
Author: Keith Melton
Series: The Zero Dog Missions, book 1
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Samhain Publishing
Format: E-book

“ -The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.-

accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.
With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.
As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.
Product Warnings
Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.”

The description of the book already gives a lot away, so I won’t contribute with that. But I can tell you that after reading it you'd know what to expect from it and I guarantee you, you will find everything you were expecting and more.

This book had me cracking up page after page. And if I get wrinkles in my flawless face for laughing I’ll blame Mr. Melton. (He will receive the bill for my botox treatment.)

I love the characters, they are all different and unique in their sordid kind of way but together they make this perfect dysfunctional mercenary “family”. They are always pushing each other’s buttons but when the need arise they always look for each other.

Mr. Melton creativity has no limits and this book is a proof of that. There were some parts in which my normal human brain (not small by the way) was in completely awe with his imagination.

The only negative thing I can say about this book is that I won’t be able to enjoy Jell-o or oatmeal for at least couple of weeks… or months. (Thank you Ms. Melton.)

My final thought: This book is an EBOAFACS (Exploding Bomb of Awesome Fun And Crazy Stuff). As Capitan Andrea Walker said, the use of acronyms is as addicting as popping bubble wrap.

Can’t wait to read the next installment.

My Verdict: 4½ Paws

Other reviews: Goodreads


  1. Thanks! So glad you enjoyed it. ^_^

  2. I saw this one over at Smexy's and I put it on my 'to-check-out' list. After reading your review, I'll put it on my 'to-buy' list! Sounds really good.

  3. Julie,
    Thank you for your comment.
    Yes, it was really good. I strongly recommend it.


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